The three of us spent the rest of the night talking and joking, and I lost track of time. “Greg and I are not a boxed set,” she surprised me by saying.“I find you very attractive, but I want you to make the decision to be with us or just with him.” This was and we had our first date as a threesome that week.
Greg explained that he was alone for one week more before Jen would be back from law school and then I could meet her and talk to her if I wanted to. To explore this new relationship model in a way that would make Kinsey proud.
I left before eleven o’clock, feeling a bit of a thrill at the thought of meeting his girlfriend. A week later, I was at Greg’s house and we’d been talking and cuddling for several hours when the phone rang. The tone in his voice was completely different than any I’d yet heard from him. “I’d like you to meet her.” Jen was very different from how I had imagined her. She wore glasses and had beautiful, fine pale skin.
I felt like a nervous 14-year-old boy trying to figure out how to introduce himself to a girl at a school dance.
Luckily, she gave me a quick handshake and from there, we clicked famously.
met Greg* through a dating website and we talked online and then on the phone for about a week.
I was very hesitant because I had never tried online dating before, and also because of one more very glaring fact: Greg was in a four-year relationship with Jen*. He was looking for another partner because he and Jen are polyamorous and they often maintain more than one relationship at once. Polyamory wasn’t something I’d ever considered trying.
After having Greg address all of my concerns, I found myself wondering, We got pizza, talked, and ended the night with kissing.
It was one of the most normal (and frankly boring) first dates I’ve ever been on.
Greg grilled ribs and let us talk alone quite a bit. As often happens when one begins getting intimate with a new person, I lost entire days in bed. I felt like she must harbor some secret jealousy, some desire to claw my eyes out. My suspicions were seemingly confirmed when Greg jumped out of bed without a word, following her downstairs. Maybe she’d been happy to watch movies with me and to tell me I was attractive, but surely there must be a biological dead man’s switch to prevent a sane woman from sharing her boyfriend sexually. I left to volunteer on another continent, Jen went back to law school, and Greg stayed behind.
That night, well fed and relaxed, I felt very happy and slowly it dawned on me. At first, I was only comfortable being intimate with Greg. Jen opened the door and saw Greg and I in bed — our clothes strewn around the room. She opened her eyes wide, appearing to struggle to find the words. We fought over Skype about the nature of our relationship and whether we should be together.
Jen got left out of the discussion somewhat, perhaps because Greg was afraid I would try to steal her away from him.